Gay Couple Adopting Children: Pros and Cons

Gays and lesbians are considered as a sexual orientation that is accepted in certain societies and certain societies are totally against them. However, it is quite clear that people that have the same sexual orientation or in other words it can be said that people with same-sex cannot have children. However, they adopt children to build their families. This paper analyzes that whether gays can adopt children or not and what are benefits and disadvantages attached to this adoption. However, both the points of the proponents and the opponents are discussed in this paper and this paper concludes with a single position on the issue.

In the current era some many lesbians and gays are actually choosing to become parents and these homosexuals actually opt for different methods when they are planning to opt for children. In the similar manner strategists and analysts actually believe that gays are adopting more children as compared to lesbians. They opt for different strategies like certain gays actually bring children from their previous relationships while there are certain gay couples that actually opt for artificial insemination (Strah and Margolis). In a similar manner there are many gay couples that are finding this option a better way to develop a family-oriented environment. However, the adoption rights vary from one state to another and it is quite obvious that not every gay couple can easily adopt a child and not every gay couple due to certain factors is liable to opt for a child. In the United States of America there are only four states that allow same-sex couple adoption and these four states are Vermont, Massachusetts, California and New Jersey. However, there are certain states that actually allow single people to adopt and there are many proponents that discourage this. There are certain states like Florida that bans gays and lesbians to adopt children. A law was passed back in 1977 which actually turned over the Dade County’s gay rights. In this law it was claimed by many individuals and authorities that gays and lesbians are child molesters and an individual named Bryant was able to convince the senators of the state to actually vote for the ban on gay adoptions. However, the law has actually been challenged several times and this law has been turned and it still remains in the books today (Hicks and McDermott).

However, a question always arises in the minds of different individuals that should gay couples adopt children or not? Are they capable of raising the children with devotion? Can they be compared with the normal couples that have straight sexual orientation? The answer to these questions is a certain “No!” This topic is usually considered a controversial and a contemporary issue. An event was organized in the United Kingdom on October 2000 which was known as a national adoption week and this event encouraged couples to adopt numerous children who are either orphaned or their parents cannot afford them. However, there are many democratic nations like America, United Kingdom, Norway, Sweden and Iceland that have identified this issue as an important area of gay rights. However, there are certain individuals that firmly believe that gay couples should not adopt children because they would be confused about their own identity. There are numerous cases in which these adopted children are molested by their gay parents. In the similar manner they live in a sexually enriched atmosphere or in a promiscuous environment and in which it is highly probable that they would fail to understand the traditional values. Many individuals and societies believe that they are abnormal couples and this abnormality will create a negative effect and uncertainty for the adopted children. Children who are raised in homosexual households are questioned about their sexuality. In the similar manner the parents are the role models for the children and that’s not the case in homosexual couples who adopt children. In a similar manner there are certain scenarios in which a distorted view of minority sexuality is created and there might be scenario in which a girl is raised by two men and the feminine influence on that would not be there. Therefore, it would be a negative aspect for that girl in both the short and the long run. Furthermore, the children are usually discriminated against in different societies and they are bullied after that. This bullying and discrimination can have long-term effects on them and these children would definitely feel discriminated against and disappointed in both the short and the long run. Strategists and analysts actually believe that this would have a long-lasting effect on the well-being of that individual and it would definitely affect their psychological development (Sember). These children would definitely feel discouraged, depressed and frustrated. Therefore, it can be clearly said that the future of these children would be doubtful.

Another factor that arises with the upbringing of children that are adopted by gay couples is the issue of morality and these children are usually considered immoral children. Societies that legally allow this upbringing is actually promoting immoral activities in the society. In a similar manner it can easily be said that gay marriages and adopting children by gay couples are a radical redefinition of marriage and family. The rate of domestic violence in homosexuals is usually high and this would also affect the adopted children. This domestic violence would definitely change the perspective of the children about good and bad things. Another element that actually occurs with this adopting is that it will result in lapse of traditional and religious values. Many religions consider gay marriages as a sin because the traditional aspect of marriage is tarnished. Gay couples can avoid these scenarios if they live against the religious values however in many circumstances they would be isolated. However, in the end the children of gay couples would be confused about the fact that who is their mother because this is what they have adopted from the society. These children would have lesser knowledge of traditions and culture and it is highly probable that they would stay away from religious practices. That is the reason why it can be clearly said that the adoption of gay marriages is morally and ethically wrong and children lose their identity and it is highly probable that children would become gay in the later stages.

In the similar manner some certain individuals and groups actually believe that gay marriages and adoption by same-sex or gay couples is essential for both the gay parents and the child who has been adopted. Strategists and certain analysts who believe that gay marriages are right also believe in the fact that they can adopt children and they can live a happy life similar to that of straight couples. A committee on gay and lesbian rights was formed which discussed the benefits of adopting children by gay couples. Some of the benefits are discussed below:

  • Since both the parents have sex therefore if one parent dies then the responsibilities of the child would be fulfilled by the other one (Lev).
  • Similarly if the couple separates then this adoption protects the right of the first parent to take care of the child.
  • In certain societies gay adoption gives certain extra rights to children who are adopted and they receive extra medical and housing benefits.
  • An element of financial security is present in the event of the loss of a single parent.

Therefore, certain individuals and societies believe that children whose parents are gays and lesbians do not face any difficulties in the short and the long run. The parents and the children both claim that they are happy and they are living a comfortable life with their gay parents. Similarly, the research also depicts that gay parents are more concerned about their children like any other parents and this positively affects the growth of the children (Lev). Children become friendlier in such atmosphere and this directly affects their personal and professional development. In the similar manner research predicts that children who are actually living in gay homes are more prone to identify the elements of diversity and they are more tolerant to diversity and they understand the value of multicultural societies. These children who are adopted by gay or lesbian parents are considered to be less aggressive and they have the tendency to resolve conflicts that arise between their schoolmates or college mates.

However, the issue is not over yet and it is believed straight couples are more privileged in the society as compared to gay couples and they are considered more family-oriented. It is quite true that in several countries the gay marriages are legal but still in several countries gays lack the right to adopt. That is the reason why certain philosophers and certain schools of thought believe that they should be given the right to adopt children and in this manner the number of orphaned children would be reduced in the society and these children would definitely grow in a more caring family. Different schools of thought also believe in the fact that every individual should have their own right unless and until they are in conflict with the general rights of citizens. Similarly every individual and government should identify that we are living in the 21st century and every country shouts a lot about democracy. The element of democracy stresses the phenomenon of freedom for all. Therefore, the gays must be given the permission to marry and after marriage they can adopt children as well. Furthermore, certain scenarios are associated with this concept like when gay people are ready to adopt children and they are allowed to do so then lot of people start adopting children as well and they would leave their orphanages and they would love to be adopted by children who love them and take good care of them. A kid really wants is basically the unconditional love of his/her parents and that can easily be provided by gay parents and these children would definitely feel a difference in their life. If they are not adopted then they live with hundreds of children in an orphanage with lesser facilities and without real care (Hill). However, that is not the case with same-sex couples. In the similar manner it can also be said that gay couples are more tolerant than normal parents that are the reason why they usually adopt children with special needs and take good care of them. Researchers believe that many people are against the adoptions of homosexual couples and they actually think that these children would be teased by their classmates and that is the reason why they would feel embarrassed and insecure. However, a survey was conducted on the gay couples and the results of that survey showed that these children are much more tolerant than those who are adopted by heterosexuals. In the similar manner many people believe that heterosexuals are more prone to molesting their children and they usually beat them (Mallon).

However, by evaluating both the points that are against adoption and that favor the adoption one can easily say that gays are not suitable to adopt children because the traditional values of the societies are tarnished by this. In the similar manner the three heavenly religions of the world Islam, Judaism and Christianity prohibit the marriage of same-sex couples that is why adoption by gays and lesbians is considered a sin in these religions. In the similar manner gays usually molest their children because they are not their original children and the adopted children in many scenarios are either raped or they are engaged in sexual relations with their so-called parents. Children who are adopted lack the moral, ethnic and the religious support from the society and they are not treated equally in most the societies. In the similar manner it can also be said that homophobic language is still used in today’s world and this behavior is also common in the society. Placing a young child in the hands of gays is a difficult task and there are many circumstances in which they are subject to prejudice, violence or ridicule. The psychological and the psychical development of the children who are adopted by gay parents are affected negatively and this would have a long-lasting effect on the well-being of these individuals and it would affect both the short and the long run. Therefore, it can be clearly said that allowing gay couples to adopt children is not a viable strategy and because this is not positive for the well-being of children who are adopted. However, gay and lesbian marriages should also be prohibited because three heavenly religions of the world prohibit them and an individual’s life is framed by a religion and the traditional values. That is the reason why gays should not be allowed to adopt children and they should be banned from doing this.

Works Cited

Hicks, S and J McDermott. Lesbian and Gay Fostering and Adoption: Extraordinary Yet Ordinary. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1998.

Hill, N. The Pink Guide to Adoption for Lesbians and Gay Men. British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF), 2009.

Lev, I.A. The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide. Berkley Trade , 2004.

Mallon, G. Lesbian And Gay Foster And Adoptive Parents: Recruiting, Assessing, And Supporting an Untapped Resource for Children And Youth. CWLA Press, 2006.

Sember, B.M. Gay & Lesbian Parenting Choices: From Adopting or Using a Surrogate to Choosing the Perfect Father. Career Press, 2006.

Strah, D and S Margolis. Gay Dads: A Celebration of Fatherhood. Tarcher, 2004.

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