Single parenthood may happen to for a diversity of reasons. It could be selected by a parent (as in divorce, adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, or extramarital pregnancy), or be the result of an unforeseeable event (such as death or abandonment by one parent). The living and parenting agreements of single parents are assorted. When parents split up, one party usually fathers for the preponderance of the time but most continue to share parenting to some degree with the other parent.
While single parenting is not an option lots of people would deliberately state, it can entail its recompenses. Single parents often realize they are able to do more than they ever realized probable and that they have abilities they did not know they had. They turn to be more self-dependent and less co-dependent upon others for their living. And expectantly they learn that true contentment must come from within, not from other people. Single parenting is very demanding, but it can also garner advantages if one accepts the challenge and grow by the means of it.
Problems and challenges
There is no distrust that being a single parent is one of the hardest tasks around. Whether one is a single parent due to split-up, death, or giving birth outside of matrimony, one is traveling a tough road. It is uniformly hard whether one is the divorced mom or dad, who does or does not have guardianship. Each single parent family faces its own exclusive troubles. (Callister, Burks, 2006).
There are challenges of balancing job, childcare, housework, children’s activities, and visitation schedules. It is also would be necessary to have some free time for parent’s own requirements.
Surely, financial challenges are generally among the largest of anxieties, predominantly for a custodial parent. Unluckily, the offending child support statistics add to these anxieties. All the while, in the center of each of these challenges, the children and their requirements for attention, quality time, regulation, and everyday care seem devastating. It seems every component of life is a managing function.
Finding Competent Childcare may be regarded as another key matter. Lots of single parents are at the clemency of the childcare chances attainable in their sphere. No one wishes to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the finest. The trouble is that the best is also generally the most costly. To solve the matter, it is necessary to call various childcare centers in the neighboring area and evaluate prices and services provided. (Rickard, 2002).
A single parent may have a difficult time teaching the children about the things a spouse would generally cover, as for instance, it would be difficult for mother to explain some things to her son, and vice versa, father will be incapable to explain some female matters to his daughter. If there is not a parental outline for the child to explain and discuss gender – associated matters with, a parent should enroll the assistance of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to function as a “surrogate parent” for the child. It may be simpler for the child to open up to this other important adult.
Single parents face the resist of growing of their children without a parent of the opposite gender. For instance, a single mother of boys will not have the male attendance in the family to assist teach the boys thing fathers traditionally can, like how to fix the car. One of the ways to solve this is to ask for the assistance of another male presence, such as a grandfather, uncle, or close friend. It is fine for a parent to ask someone he / she trust to get involved in the child’s life. In this way, children of single parents do not have to endure due to the lack of a parent. (One Parent Families, 2005).
Feeling Lost and Alone
Lots of single parents find themselves feeling separated at one point or another. They don’t really narrate to singles without children as single parents have a totally various set of priorities and accountabilities. If one finds him/her- self feeling a bit lonesome and there is strong wish to communicate with people who can relate to what one is going through, one should think about joining a neighboring support team for single parents. Moreover just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
Introducing the Child to Those a Parent is Dating
Having a range of boyfriends or girlfriends flowing in and out of the child’s life can not be regarded as good factor for anyone. Lots of single parents are perplexed as to when an important other should be introduced to the child. While it is never good to conceal a mounting relationship from the child, it is necessary to watch that they do not become expressively close with someone a parent is dating unless the relationship is really going somewhere with strong perspective. At that time it is possible to plan trips together and entail the child in the relationship on a more serious level. Parents do not wish to run the risk of the child getting injured when they become attached to a person a parent is dating and the contact does not terminate. Sometimes it happens, but it is necessary to try to reduce the revolving door. (Nelsen, Erwin, 2005).
Often single parents feel culpable as they are not able to stay with their children all the time. On TV, traditional families are pictured that have at least one parent at home with the kids. Sometimes they entail that the parent also has a victorious career, while being home with the children. This is just unrealistic for most families. Having a career denotes that one will be away from the kids. That does not denote that one cannot be a good parent. It is necessary not to let a feeling of guilt overpower! And the recommendation in such a situation is to do the best a parent can for the kids, and they will be satisfied.
Children of single parents often challenge emotional matters. They may feel disheartened and guilty, particularly if a divorce is entailed. These children often accuse themselves for the leaving of a parent. As they are children, they cannot go through the situation without sensation. Since money matters often are present in single parent families, the pressure of the financial situation often donates to family arguments, which are hard for the children. Children from single-family homes are more probable to be engaged in crimes throughout their teenage period. Due to this, single parents require to do all they can to guarantee that they are keeping the contacts with their children’s lives. Single parents, if they stay entailed, can raise happy, well-brought up children, but it is surely challenging. If someone is a single parent, it is necessary to avoid the enticement to over-recompense for what one feels the children are missing. It is just necessary to be the best parent one can be. (Callister, Burks, 2006).
In 2004 nearly two thirds (64 per cent) of lone-parent families had only one child living with them, the largest proportion of any family type. The proportion of married couple families with one child was the smallest at 37 per cent. Married couples were more likely than other family types to have three or more children.
One in four women who gave birth outside marriage in 1988 went on to marry in the subsequent eight years, most of them married the child’s father. Some children do not live in families at all. In 2001, 139,000 children were living in other households in the USA, this includes living with adults or other relatives who are not their parents. An additional 52,000 children under 16 lived in communal establishments such as a children’s home. (Callister Burks 2006).
The troubles and challenges which may be faced by single parent are generally explained by misunderstanding in the family, or banal lack of time to find out all the necessary information, or discuss the matters with a child. The problem is rarely concealed deeply; parents just do not have enough determination to touch the painful topics.
Children of single parents are very likely to share more household responsibilities, including looking after themselves. Single parents often discuss things with their children (usually financial or family decisions) which, in other families, are usually discussed only between parents. This can make the children from these families particularly independent, mature, resourceful, and responsible as compared to their peers.
The world experience shows that lots of single – parent families face the named troubles and challenges, but the fact is that, one who is strongly determined to resolve the matter, would inevitably find the way. Inspite of the fact, that lots of movies, books, talk-shows are intended to assist in solving this matter, any case is unique, and only true love to the children would help to cope with any challenge.
Callister, P and Burks, S (2006) “Two Parents, Two Households: New Zealand data collection, language and complex parenting” Family Commission journal.
Elwell, B., (2002) “The Single Parent Travel Handbook” Globalbrenda Publishing.
Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., (2005) “Positive Discipline for Single Parents, Revised and Updated 2nd Edition: Nurturing Cooperation, Respect, and Joy in Your Single-Parent Family” Prima Lifestyles publisher.
“One Parent Families Today: The Facts” (2005), One Parent Families, London.
Rickard, M (2002) “Children of Single Women Parents” Research Note no. 41. Social Policy Group, Parliament of Australia.
Singleparents.uk (2008) “Proofed for Parents by Parents”. Web.